"An aquarium is a submarine for fish."
"I met the Dalai Lama once, and I happened to be cooking hot dogs at the time. I said, "What do you want?" And he said, "Make me one with everything."
"That guy's multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit."
"I'm spiritual. I'm an Aries with a penis rising."
"Oh, I get it. You're being aloof. No that's fine, we need loofs."
"Did I step on your foot or was that your breasts?"
"Make sure to tip your waitresses. It's pretty funny when they fall over."
“Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.”
"That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him."
“You are so country, you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.”